The more logical, time and money saving solution is rather simple. Go to the grocery store. There, you have the choices of as large a variety of candy as if you were, in fact, trick-or-treating. Not only do you get to be in the confortable warmth of a haeated store, you did not have to do much walking, just siting a car. In addition, one can choose his or her favorite candy, getting 100% of what they wanted, rather than a bunch of hard candies or almonds that he or she hates. The cost will roughly be between $10 and $25, depending on how much one is willing to spend. From that, one now has several weeks of candy at his or her disposal. The time factor is about 20 minutes. If one went trick-or-treating, it would take 20 minutes just to organize his or her candy. There is no hassle by using this method, no griping, no waiting for everyone to catch up, and most of all, the displeasure of being rewarded with crap for walking around to strangers' houses in the cold darkness.

By now you must be thinking: "Any idiot can go to the grocery store anytime during the year, Halloween only happens once a year" Of course I know this, do not believe that I do nothing special on Halloween. I choose not to trick-or-treat, but to spend the day ghouls and ghosts doing something a bit different. There are many things one can do on Halloween other than going door to door. A scary movie marathon is a possibility. A Halloween party is another possibility. Personally, I find all of these ideas rather bland. Two years ago, I discovered how to make Halloween an incredibly enjoyable day. It's rather simple: pulling pranks.

A large part of pranks on Halloween include planting booby traps in the yard:

1.) Sprinkler on driveway - Sprinkler turned on so that it will get people wet as they pass by it.

2.) Chewed gum on drive way so it sticks to their feet - About 50 pieces of chewed gum resting on wrappers. Mostly in the walkway from the driveway to the deck. Get really sticky gum.

3.) Super glue on candy - When actually giving out candy, squirt a bit of super glue on it. Do this right before you drop it in their bag. Should result in lots of candy permanently stuck together.

4.) Put a translucent liquid on the doorbell - Jam, manauyse, ketchup, hair gel are all good ideas. These can be applied any time but do not have to be used all the time. Just apply enough with a knife or a finger to cover the button, that should be sufficient.

5.) Wet toilet paper hanging from trees - Get enough to cover all areas around the trees in the front. Must hang these up an hour or so before people start arriving. Just get the TP wet using a spray bottle, not drenched, for it will fall apart if drenched.

6.) Trip wire at random locations on lawn - Hammer strong, thick sticks into the ground so that about 1/3 to ½ of it is above ground. Place the sticks approximately 1 meter apart. Then tie durable string so that it is very tight about 5-6 inches above ground. The string should be tied before the sticks are hammered in so that optimal tightness will occur.

Here is a comprehensive list of theorized and useful pranks:

- Give them buckets of water
- Start rapping
- Give them a haircut
- Start a lecture on differential calculus
- Dead bodies on the floor w/ knives in them
- Have face + hands covered in chocolate and offer them some
- Sit in bush and hose people
- Act like a scarecrow and put a sign that says take one only, if they take more, scare the shit out of them
- Use a laser pen like a sniper rifle
- Leave the sprinkler on
- Use the laser pen, if they do not take the hint, hose them
- Give them candy, then go out and follow them around
- Take something from them
- Give one person a large candy bar, the other one gets a penny
- Ask them to hold out their hand, then squeeze toothpaste into it, if they wipe it on the wall, hose them
- Go around the neighborhood with squirt guns
- Tell them to go to the back door
- Give them broken things
- Give them text books
- Have cow answer the door
- Open the door, act confused, leave, come back with a calendar and a watch and look at it, baffled
- Give them dirty socks
- Have a heart attack and use a defibulator to jump start them
- Sneeze on them
- Do Chris' Canada loogie
- Give them blown-up balloons
- Give them large inanimate objects such as chairs or a couch
- Give them condoms
- Open door and run in a line like a plane around the yard then go back inside(need a lot of people)
- Have a televised boxing match in the front yard
- Open the door revealing nothing but darkness and an illuminated middle finger
- Give them trash from the garbage bag
- Try and bite them
- Do the Star Wars "Luke, I am your father" scene
- Shake salt into their bag
- Pour a drink into their bag
- Play with a Jack-in-the-box and act startled when it pops up
- Turn around to give them candy and fart in their faces
- Bring them in to see if they can fix your dishwasher
- Give them a surprise party and eventually realize you don't know them, taking back the presents and kicking them out
- Charge for candy
- Catapult pumpkins at anyone coming by
- Dump a warm dinner meal in their bag
- Give them cigarettes
- Show them a bowl of ketchup and ask them to take some
- Give them bags of flour made to resemble crack.(this can be done for weed as well)
- Come out door with fake vomit and throw it on them
- Give them unwrapped candy
- Come out naked
- Lights off, open door and there is a sign that says "You have 3 seconds to get off my property" 2 people come out with fake guns to scare them away
- Snipers in tree, they use: eggs, wet toilet paper, ice cubes, water balloons, chewed up candy, etc.

The pranks will be covered more in depth in another article. But for now, I believe you get the idea. Just pick out a few from the list I have provided, or create some of your own and then set up a few booby traps. Then sit back and enjoy the night, and the candy that you were supposed to give out. Just try and avoid lawsuits.

~ Kevin Bondalapati